Orly M.I.A.

Sorry all for my disappearance. Been a bit strange lately. A lot of mixed emotions going on in my head and it pretty much brought me down to the point where I didn't want to do much not even posting on my blogger. Here's what I've been up to lately:

1.) Just finished watching the entire third season of 24. You start one episode and you just can't stop until your practically falling asleep...in my case I was falling asleep on my computer desk. At the moment, I'm downloading the entire 4th season and it should be done in a few days. For those who like this show and would like me to pass it on to a dvd, just ask and send me a few blank dvds.

2.) Playing a little game on my PC called Land of the Dead: Road to Fiddler's Green. If you're a zombie fan then this game is for you. It's basically a side story from the movie Land of the Dead by George A. Romero but the funny thing it's much more fun to play this game online after installing all the different kind of update patches and maps and extra audio and weapons. Not for the faint of heart of course. It does get a bit gory but you can't expect less from a zombie game.

3.) Spending time with my little one, my boo boo. Even though I hate getting up early in the morning, the only thing that helps is a long hot shower, I'm good to go once I'm heading out the door holding her bookbag and lunchbag or lunch pouch...whatever it may be called. As I'm sitting there on the concrete bench with her giving her her breakfast I think to myself "I better enjoy these little moments now". I can pretty much say my mornings with her before she goes inside her classroom are the highlight of my days.


Off to a different subject. I was watching 2 different shows in the last week or so...24 season 3 and Family Guy season 3 and something in both shows reminded me of my little "problem". On my Family Guy Lois doesn't have enough money to get whatever poultry it is she wanted and while going back to return it to where it goes she looks around and slips it in her purse and thus begins her road to becoming a klepto. You can see that the "rush" she gets from going to different places and just getting anything she wants through 5 finger discount and it lands her in jail.

On 24 Jack Bauer, the main character of the show played by Kiefer Sutherland, he becomes a heroin junkie while on assignment that is part of his cover while trying to infiltrate a mexican drug cartel. You see when his assignment is done he has to go "cold turkey" because he is the director of the counter terrorist unit so he starts going through his withdrawels (did I spell that right?) and you can see that it must be a horrible thing for someone to go through.

My point to this is that I was going through something like that with me being a klepto. I would say to myself that I was going to stop but after a few days I would feel those feelings of withdrawels and just go back to doing what I was doing. There was a list of reasons for my doing this and it's all bull$hit. Because it was easy. Because it would save me money. Because I could make money. Because I can. Because they deserve it. The weird thing is I hated that feeling all the way up to point where I knew I was in the clear with whatever I was pocketing...but at the same time I loved it. Does that make any sense? I hated it because I felt like i was going to have a heart attack or just pass out from the fear of being caught but loved it and I can't pinpoint a reason why. I figured after being caught and arrested in front of my mother, wife and daughter and going through the heavy sense of embarrassment that I would not dishonor them by doing it again and unfortunately I did for about another year after that up until last week...exact date was September 25, 2006. I've been a little over a week and half "sober". I feel embarrassed talking about this but I don't know what else to do other than to talk about it and maybe that would help me recognize it and be able to put a stop to it.

I have a few other issues I want to share with the few readers I do have but I'll finish up for now. Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. I'm dying to hear your 2 cents on the following subjects I will be bringing up.